Control Freak

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33

I will admit it – I am a control freak. I’m a typical first born who is ultra responsible, afraid of failure and one who tries to control my environment so that I can remain in a place that’s comfortable and calculated. And can I also confess that the events of my life have been anything but comfortable and calculated. What is this illusion that I reach for, somehow believing I can provide for myself and keep everything in perfect order? Ha! Jesus gives us the verse above toward the end of His incredible Sermon on the Mount (see Matthew chapters 5-7). In the verses surrounding this one, He has addressed a core part of who we are – worriers! He knew that we’d stress out about what we’re going to eat and what we’re going to wear, which college we should go to and who we’re going to marry, if we should take that job and how we’re supposed to raise our kids, how we’re going to make it in a struggling economy…and the list goes on…and on…an on, doesn’t it?! :) In verse 32, Jesus says “your heavenly Father knows you have need of these things.” I love that description of God as our tender, heavenly Father who knows our needs. He’s not a genie who magically gives us what we want, or a cold judge who determines if our good works outweigh our bad and then gives us our just reward. He is our Father who knows us better than anyone else. He says that we are to seek Him first, then these things (fill in your needs here) will be given to you. He does not say, go make it happen for yourself and it would also be nice if you sought Me and my opinion along the way. Now if you love control as much as I do, we are reminded of our sin of self-sufficiency here. There are so many areas of life we waste time on by worrying, or planning on how we are going to “make it happen.” I admit that sometimes, the idea of total surrender – even to God – makes me feel (and wrongfully so) helpless and dependent – which, let’s face it, I am! But the more I walk with Christ the more I want His will for my life more than my own. The stronger I grow in my relationship with Him, the more I want His opinion and direction for my life and the more I rest in His promises to provide for me, protect me and love me.

So, in the middle of your life right now – with all your needs, desires, questions, and dreams – are you seeking Him first? Are you wasting time worrying when He has already promised a good plan for your life (Jeremiah 29:11)? Ask Him about it. Get to know Him better. You will discover His character and the ability to rest that comes from having a personal relationship with Him. He tells us that not a single sparrow falls to the ground that He doesn’t know about. How much more does He then know the intimate details of your life! He knows your thoughts, the deep desires of your heart, the number of hairs on your head, and He compares the thoughts that He has about to the number of grains of sand on the shore. Wow!